March 18, 2020 2 min to read
How to get men into conversation
Category : Lifestyle
Getting men into conversation can be challenging. Afterall, we men have been brainwashed from birth to avoid communicating anything vulnerable and being judged as weak.
Us guys were instructed to be tough and never show weakness under any circumstance – especially in front of other males.
So you’re sitting with the guys but your men’s group agenda is going off the rails. What can you do to get the guys talking? How can you get them to open up a little?
If you’re looking for strategies to help you get a group of men into conversation you’ve come to the right place. I’ve been facilitating men’s groups for the last decade.
In this quick post I’ll share the simple strategies that we use to get guys gabbing in men’s groups.
Guys Want Vulnerable Conversations
Whether they admit it or not, every human being that walks the planet craves connection. We are hardwired to be close to others and to share the intimate details of our lives. Even the hardest dudes deep down just want to feel closeness.
Some guys buy into the toxic dogma that men should never share their feelings. Some men are terrified to be seen as weak.
Regardless, the vast majority of men will open up and be vulnerable if they are given the chance in the right setting.
It’s All About Leading By Example
Everyone wants to know about the best men’s group topics. Unfortunately topics won’t matter if there is an environment within the group of guys that discourages sharing. Instead you must focus on the environment you are creating and lead by example.
1. Lead with vulnerability: If a man sees another man speaking vulnerably without ridicule, he will feel a lot more safe to open up as well.
2. Start the conversations with someone who shares more than the average man: Again watching another man express himself without being judged as weak will help other men do the same.
3. Totally confidential: Men are hardwired to not share in front of others out of fear of being judged. Accordingly you must ensure that you are in a private space and that nothing is shared outside of the group.
4. Talk about it in a cool way: Words like “vulnerability” and “sharing” actually scare men due to our conditioning and fear of judgement. Instead make it more approachable and casual. Instead of “It’s time to share vulnerably” you could try…
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